The Cycle

This explains things so well for me! I’m finally breaking the cycle! x

Kicking It Eating Disorder Style, Thirties and Beyond Edition

I am getting caught up in the cycle again. It’s nothing like before, but here I go.

The problem is, I’ve never NOT had the cycle. For as long as I can remember, I gained a ton of weight, then I lost it in dubious ways. I don’t understand moderation. I don’t GET having one. I don’t understand hunger and fullness, or letting my body tell me things. I seriously just don’t understand.

My boyfriend has no issues with food. The other day I made a chocolate cake and he had one piece. He had one. That thing haunted me all night. It’s all I could think about–when could I finish that when he wasn’t looking? When I am in this mode, it affects everything. I haven’t slept in our bed in three days because I can’t stand the thought of him having to touch, what I consider to be…

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