I got better for a few days. Eating felt normal. I don’t know how it happened. But I hate it. I have no control at the moment. I hasn’t been to the gym in a week. I’ve been eating loads. I’ve gained weight. I hate this so much. Being normal and eating isn’t as good […]
So today my boyfriend was ill! classical man flu! And it was my task to make him some lunch to make him feel better! So chicken soup it was. But I had an interview in an hour and no time to make it! At the back of our cupboard are about 10 cans of this […]
So after a stressful week including my first session of counselling, letting my boyfriend into my secrets and allowing him to help me I’m moving on. I’m putting together a recipe book with all the things I make. I’ll take photos of everything, and am writing down a list of things I want to make! […]
At 7pm today. I’m going to an eating disorder clinic. No one knows. Not my boyfriend. Not my Mum. No one I havn’t eaten for 2 days, – Im trying to achieve 7 days. This isn’t right. I know that now. If I want a good career as a chef I need to learn that food isnt […]
I’m taking a break from baking this week to focus on my eating disorder. My mum absolutely adored her cake I made. So did everyone. I’ve been enlisted to make the family Christmas came this year! But this week I need to focus on myself. I’ve hit a bad patch of depression and bulimia. And […]
wi the last cake crumbs and chocolate I made some mini sweets, they were really fake pops that wouldn’t stay on the sticks. So am going to give them to a friend as a birthday cake substitute! Wish I could just eat one up! Lots of love xxx
So I decided with the left over Madeira cake I would make some cake pops. Limited success as they wouldn’t stay on the sticks! Think I need to use smaller ones. Covered them in white, pink and purple chocolate and decorated. Ate melted chocolate though. This has ruined my entire day. Makes me so sad.
Here are the photos of my finished birthday cake for my mums birthday this weekend. Taking this home on a coach should be interesting. I used the iced fruit cake, and then made a Madeira cake (forgot to take photos), cut it smaller and filled with butter cream and jam then iced it. I used […]
Here’s the finished, iced fruit cake. Felt really rewarding doing it. Today I had decided I wasn’t going to eat. The smell of the icing was tempting, but I really restrained myself. Although I did skip a gym workout in order to come home and bake 😦 not feeling so great about that. Also, I […]
Added the layer of marzipan to my fruit cake. Sieved some apricot jam and sponged it over the cake, then used a BBC video to follow how to marzipan a cake. I used a disc for the top and then a strip round the outside. And here is the finished result!